it's time to face the truth...

Sunday, July 31, 2005 8:15 PM

i dont wanna grow up anymore.

this few days i was at my god-grandma's funeral.
today is the lasat day,
she's gone,
forever.
but strangely,
i've become so strong or m i numbed?
i didnt drop a tear.
not even once.

just got to know my granddad's lung cancer has worsen or sth.

seriously i dont wanna grow up anymore.

i so miss my sec sch days.
i suddenly thought of kahwah, ychu, sherwin and even chengyee.
hais.
so many lar.
how i wish i can b like last tyme lor.
sleep in class,
slack all days,
have fun with the ppl,
luff like crazy at kahwah's stupid action,
get angry with ms foo,
the noise of 4a3,
disturbed by da jie,
sharing gossips wif kaya, gweny, xl n yp,
though all is nonsense.
but i just miss having fun with them.
:(

i'm going off to camp tml.
be back on wednesday.
so many undone homewerks,
HOW?!

//runs

Friday, July 29, 2005 12:19 AM

stop telling me.

i noe lar.
i shouldnt have chosen jc.
its my FAULT okie.
i;m stupid.
i dun have brain.
i cant cope with stress.

i;m fucking STUPID.
happie enuff?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 4:22 PM

life is just so unpredictable

just recieved a call from my grandma.
was told tat my dad's god-mum has just passed away.
hais.
nv heard tat she's sick or sth,
she just pass away so suddenly.
sad.

my cough is still as bad.

i got out of TAF alr!!!
YEAH!!!
no more morning run!
woohoooo!

saw sth obscene just now.
i was walking out of the lift
and i saw a 60 plus ah pek trying to hanky panky wif a 50 plus ah soh.
its fugly can.
trying to put his hand into her clothes.
den when i walk into my hse,
the ah soh walk ard just to make sure i dun come out anymore.
wtf.
i mean these pple is damn stupid.
its 16 floor and it doesnt nobody will walk pass lor.
so many tymes i caught youngsters doing tat at my block liao.
and now,
the AH PEK and AH SOH!
there was once i caught the lesbians in action too
wahaha.
free porn!
-roll eyes-

//runs

Monday, July 25, 2005 8:04 PM

stage fright

reach sch at 1pm to attend pw course.
i tink i have serious stage fright.
hais.
how can i overcome it?

my cough is bad lar.
until i pant like wad sial.
now have fever again.
so sick of getting sick alr.
i want to get well.

AND my leg.
my damn leg.
still in pain lor.
doctor told me it may take up to 6 weeks to get totally well,
meanwhile i CANNOT jump.
wad sial.
6 weeks.
do you think the p.e teacher will believe?
hais.

//runs

Sunday, July 24, 2005 11:21 PM

flag day on sat

oh yar.
i forgot to blog abt my flag day.
actually we didnt went to sell flag.
wahahha!
we took train to orchard n headed to cine,
sitting outside kbox there,
waiting for 2 WL,ianrik n kevin to come along,
so there's sisil, sherine, peishi, yvette, john, terence, mervin, chengwei, weilong, weeloon, ianrik and kevin.
we took 4 tables
and play POOL!
we played from 11 plus to 1 plus,
den JJ is holding a singing session at kbox.
whhaha,
den we went in to watch JJ.
his singing damn good.
its alr 2pm.
den we walk down from cine back to orchard station,
on the way we try to ask for donation.
onli some kind soul donates.
just as we reached orchard station,
a lady approached us and asked us to pretend to ask for donation ard that area cos she nid to firm us.
wao lau.
in the end when i got home and saw the news,
its just trying to use us to MAKE news can.
anyway onli yvette appear on the tv, for 1 pathetic second.
the news is saying tat after the NKF thingy,
not much ppl donates n the public doubts abt where the money goes.
wao lau,
not reali true lar,
at least for the 20 mins of selling flag i nv met anyone like tat.
its true tat many tymes pple dun donates,
even b4 NKF thing can.
so DOTS.
k enuff said.
its alr 2.30 when we board train to travel back to woodlands.
i got real sick n went to the doc.
and blah.
ends here
//runs

8:40 PM

the power of flu virus!

that title is kinda lame.
from peishi to sisil to me.
now is yvette and guangyang.
and its just so nice that my pw group member all kena flu sial!
i may not attend sch tml.
fever keeping coming back.
took medi den feel giddy alr..
k lar..
i need to do homewerk alr.
//runs

Friday, July 22, 2005 3:51 PM

SO SICK! :(

fall sick again.
guess its the flu virus.
waha.
just had fever.
39.2
but pop the med into my mouth n i'm feeling better lar.
having running nose and cough now.
SO SICK.
tml got flag day.
hahas,
meeting the class in the morning at woodlands.
so paiseh to pangseh sisilia,
suppose to stay baq with her to do econs summary,
but i really not feeling well..
my class alr 3 girls sick le.
all is sth like flu lor.
soon the virus will spread...
muahahaha.
okie.
i'm evil.
just kidding lar..
hope all of us will get well soon!
//runs

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:34 PM

dumb entry

wahahha.
thanks ah yvette.
make everybody disturb me.
wahahahhas.
kao eh.
there's no such thing going on lar.
dun DISTURB me le.

bleah.
since when i last had a crush on a person.
more than 6 months?
the last one was someone i;m not suppposed to had a crush on.
it was reali by accident.
waha.
after feeling sad for awhile,
-poof-
the feeling is gone,
for good.
den i got into ij.
life carries on,
same old me,
without vulgarities,
still hanging out wif friends,
still alive n kicking.
i realised,
why must i had crush on anybody n make myself so miserable.
ever since after W i have nv thot of having crush alr.
does admire pple,
but is diff from crush lar.
hmmmm.
tats all.
dunno wad to blog for the day.
onli noe i left sisil alone for hockey training due to mc.
wahaha.
dunno hows tat girl alr.
must be tired.
hope she enjoy at ntu.

k lar.
need to look at econs le,
tml got TEST.
//runs

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 10:37 PM

shld i or shld i not?

just had a chat wif yuhchu on msn.
so long nv mit up wif the chu kia le.
den tok to him abt i feel like quitting jc.
had a quite serious talk with him.
wahaha,
i admit tat i'm too proud to put down my pride to admit my own mistake.
to chose jc over poly for friends.
den,
things was different when we got into jc n i lost my motivation.
yea.
and many things lar.
after chatting with him i realise i must quit jc.

wahaha,

den i went to chat wif guangyang [ my classmates]
he is oso one of the slacker.
i complained to him i wanted to quit n econs is too difficult to cope.
he freaking give mi a good "scolding" n wake me up.
yea,
probably i haben even try.
hahas.
den i decided to stay n see.

contridictive.
-shrugs-
shld i stay or not?
//runs

8:22 PM

lost for words.

when can i do sth for myself.
when can i start living for myself.
when can i love myself.
i'm think sometimes i shld get selfish.
even now,
i;m not even schooling at my own wish.
the only small little thing i did to cheer myself up is to watch tv n sleep.

sometimes i just feel that i;m damn silly.
wonders should i believe in this word - BESTIES.
whenever i thought i have found them,
i lost them,
drifted apart somehow.
depression came along.
when things get better,
i lost the faith in that friendship.
i lost the interest.
then slowly i'll walk away,
one day.
its happened then, it happens now,
just like in a circle.
i wanna come to a fullstop.
i need a real friend,
to be there when i;m happy,
to be there when i break down,
to be there,
no matter what happen.
i just need someone.
who really do care.

i know some people are there all along,
thanks for loving me.
(:

are you the one?

//runs

Monday, July 18, 2005 11:12 PM

F*** those dickheads

fuckernehneh.
damn irritated by someone's bf.
fucking no manners,
rude bastard.
FUCKER.
i shall nv call n ask my werk anymore.
pcb.
knn.
Fyou.
this is not the first tyme n i just feel that that dicko is so insensitive.
i dun care if its a joke.
i'm veri irritated ALREADY.
next tyme if i call u n he's on the other line u might as well dun pick up my call, just tell mi to call back another tyme i dun want to get irritated by that damn ass.
i dun care if you love him or not sial.
jerkyassholebananashitdickhead.
pissed off.
//runs

7:46 PM

Twist, Lick, Dunk!

just had some oreo.
hahas.
have endless econs homewerk la.
going to do it soon.
if not i would b able to sleep tonight.

my leg is still injured.
hais.
dunno lei.

its has been a month since i last being a chimey.
wahahaha.
aint you people pround of me?
bleah.
actualli i wanted to,
but there's no money, no environment.
BO BIAN lor.
wahahhaa.
craps!

//runs

Sunday, July 17, 2005 6:18 PM

OH-NO

MY k700i SPOIL LE.
SPOIL AH!
SPOIL!!!!!!
im so TRAUMATIZE!!!!!
HOW SIAL?!?!?!?!

3:04 PM

falala

wahahas.
just got home.
went to see chinese physician.
2 more weeks of mc from P.E.
gotta start doing werk soon..
if not veri shack ah,
tml must hand in alot of thing lei.
SO DEAD lar.
//runs

12:59 PM

-yawns-

i haben do anything sial
SHIT ME.
flooded with homewerk n i cant b bothered.
SO DEAD.
going offline soon.. //runs

Saturday, July 16, 2005 8:57 PM

blogging tyme!

woohoo.
went bishan ytd wif my mum n bro.
i bought a pierre cardin bra.
its call the absolute lightness bra.
buahahas.
wonder why.
its in lime green n hot pink
just like my blog!
:)
-bytchy-
haha.

have been slacking for the whole afternoon alr.
shall start doing homewerk soon.
in my terrify room.
its in BIG mess,
as if some fights have took place few minutes ago.

MY LEG!
its still not okie.
i can walk alr,
but i still cant run.
I WANNA GO HOCKEY EH!
HOCKEY HOCKEY HOCKEY!
I WANNA GO!
hais.

//runs

Thursday, July 14, 2005 7:59 PM

busy me

busy busy busy
i'm like a busy bumble bee.

work to be done by tml:
-phys tutorials,
-phys practical,
-gp PBL,
-gp file,
-econ mcq test,
-econs tutorials,
-more econs homework,
-chinese oral.

things to b done by this week?:
-get a pw file.
-tution homewerk,
-maths tutorials,
-understand my maths,
-understand my econs,
-understand my phys,

daily work:
-read newspaper!
-complete tutorials!

i've yet to accomplish anything.
cos i've been falling asleep.
oso have no tyme for angie. [ no tyme to chat wif her on fone]
sorrie.

school is getting better but busier?
bond between classmates are getting better?
wahahahas
and there's a change in our maths teacher,
he's form njc,
sissy but cute?

my leg has yet to recover.
mayb i'll get another week of mc.
i cant go for hockey training again?
:(

okies,
i shall start doing my pbl.
//runs

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 8:27 PM

what i really want in my life?

i spent nearly an hour to find this useful article for tml's pw lesson.
a sense of relief.
THEN,
i realise my printer got no ink.
i cant print!
how m i going to bring it tml?!
-blur-

i'm trying harder now.
trying to complete tutorial.
trying to understand concepts.
but not yet for econs.
nid much help for tat,
OH YUAN PING, FASTER HELP MI LAR, U GOT TOP 10 FOR ECONS NOE?
I NID YOUR HELP ON ECONS!!
okies.
i'll try.
try till the end of promo.
and if i still fails.
den tat proves tat i'm not up to it.
buaha.
in another word,
i'm not smart or i'm just plain stupid.

was walking alone to sch this morning,
i started thinking,
thinking veri hard.
what i want in my life?
what i want to be?
so what if i got a degree?
will i be doing wad i dreamt for?
m i doing what i like?
how will i feel ten years down the road?
will i feel regret of the wrong path chosen?
will i regret what i did now?
my thot was deep that i didnt realise yvette is behind me.
den i continue to think.
do i really wanna do interior design?
if i got my A level cert, will i get to study interior design?
what if i regreted to have chosen A level/ interior design?

yea.
i know its rather nonsense lar.
but i dont wanna regret for what i have did anymore.
i think i should really start thinking what i want in my life.
//runs

Monday, July 11, 2005 8:06 PM

1. Full Name: wendalyn/ weishan
2. Your Nick Names: shanshan, ah shan, shan jie.
3. Are you bi, gay, straight, a-sexual:-skip- cos i;m confused.buaha
4. Place of Birth: Singapore
5. Zodiac Sign: Gemini
6. Male or Female: Female
7. age: 17
8. School: Innova JC
9. Occupation: brainless student
10. Residence: YISHUN (:

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: brown black
13. Hair Long or Short:shoulder length
14. Eye Color:black?
15. how do ur nails look:short
17. Do you have a crush on someone right NOW
(truthfully): NAH.
18. do u like yourself: not realli
20. think you attractive: NOT AT ALL
21. Piercings:2
22. Tattoo: None
23. Righty or Lefty: Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

24. First RollerCoaster: Genting
25. First cell phone: 8250
26. First best friend(s): XiMin
27. First Award: not sure
28. First Sport You Joined: Skipping.
29. First pet: Hamster?
30. First vacation: Genting
31. First Concert: .
32. First True Love: -blank-

___ Favorites___

33. Movie: windstruck, my sassy girl
34. TV Show: -
35. Color: blue, orange, purple
36. Band: energy?
37. Song: AI QING BU NENG ZHUO BI JIAO
38. Food: ehs?
39. Drink: mocha frapp
40. Candy: Skittles
41. Sport : Swimming, Skipping, Volleyball, Hockey.
42.Sport To Watch: Swimming!
43. Brand Of Clothing: -
44. Stores: -
45. School Subject: still, Chinese.
46. Animal: alot lar
48. Magazines:seventeen

___Currently___

49. Eating: Not eating
50. Drinking: Not drinking.
52. Online?:
53. Listening to: Areosmith- Dont want to miss a thing
54. Thinking About: when can i get my butt off here n start doing homewerk?
55. Wanting To: do homework
56. Watching: The screen

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: Yea, i love kids
59. Want to Get Married?: Not sure
60. Careers in Mind: interior designer?

__Wad Is Your Ideal Opposite Sex___

67. Cute or Sexy: Cute
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both
70. Short or Tall: Tall
71. Easygoing or serious:Easy-going
72. Romantic or Spontaneous:Spontaneous
73. Fatty or Skinny:50-50
74. Sensitive or Loud: neither
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Neither

___Have You Ever___
78. Kissed a Stranger:-
79: drank Alcohol: Yar
80. Smoked: How could i not smoke?
81. Ran Away From Home: Never
82. Broken a Bone: nah
83. Got an X-ray: Yup
84. Broken Someones Heart: Not sure
85. L0VED SOMEONE: Not reali lar
86. Turned Someone Down: ?
87. Cried When Someone Died: YAH,
88. Cried At School: definitely.

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: which god?
90. Miracles: kinda
91. Love At First Sight: Nope
92. Ghosts: quite
93. Aliens: NO
94. Soul Mates: Yup
95. Heaven: hmmm.
96. Hell: -
98. Kissing on The First Date: Yar
99. Horoscopes:Yup

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know
You Can't Have?: Nope. have not found that special one yet.

Sunday, July 10, 2005 9:45 PM

feeling bored

*name: wendalyn/weishan
*age: 17
*your family calls you: ah-mei, ah-girl.
*your friends call you: shan, weishan, wendalyn?
*favourite numbers: o6
*the person you love most: mummy
*what time is it now: 2148.
*last thing you did before this: sms-ing
*last thing that made you cry: celebrate my granddad's bdae.
*last thing that made you smile: forgot. (:
*the person(s) you trust: not much.
*the person who give advices: me?
*the last book you read: -
*what color shirt are you wearing now: purple
*favourite place: my room
*spiderman or batman: spidyman
*does someone bother you: nobody
*you prefer to have long or short hair: long
*last person who sms you: jaer.
*describe what you are feeling and why: nth.
*something you cant afford to lose: family members n friends
*last person who wrote testimonial for you : JOYCEE BABY!
*what time did you go to bed last night: ard 1?
*weirdest person you know: one of my classmate?
*choose angel or baby: both?
*last person who called you: angie n ping
*black, blue or white: blue
*computer or mobile: BOTH
*last person who crossed your mind: i;ve no idea
*mango or pear: mango.
*are you a smoker: social
*one big regret in life: i've learn to move on (:

2:20 PM

aiya.
forget it.
lazy to blog.
i typed it 3 tymes n it just went blank.
grrrt.
shit it.
//runs

Friday, July 08, 2005 10:03 PM

PAIN SIAL

haiz.
my leg is still veri pain,
the pain is ard the knee,
so, i'm like dragging my left foot while i walk,
i cant get down from the stairs,
i used my right leg to hop.
i took cab down to school.
i tink its getting serious,
i dun tink i can get well in one week tyme?
but there's hockey,
and they're going to nus/ntu to practice,
hais.
ssad lar.
HOW SIAL.
MY LEG AHS!
see lar,
wad has the P.E department did to mi?!?!??!
i'm reali afraid tat my leg wont get well or it might just get hurt again,
den i cant play hockey or go swimming anymore o.O
I DUN WAN THIS TO HAPPEN AH!
kie lar,
so crappy,
i going to prepare qns for tml tuition le,
guess my tutor will vomit blood upon seeing my maths..
BLEAH!

//runs

Thursday, July 07, 2005 9:32 PM

INJURED

hais.
stupidly injure my leg again.
was doing physical training for p.e [due to i;m still in taf n i cant join the swim],
den we were suppose to jump over the tall triangular cones, [ two cones with one stick in btw them]
den i freaking didnt land properly n injure my fucking muscles or wadever it is.
now,
i cant even walk up or down the stairs,
seriously i dunno how m i going to get to sch tml.
fucking pain can.
not tat i wanna use f-word,
but i reali cant find another word to describe the pain.
i tell u, its FUCKING pain.
stupid me.
STUPID ENOUGH TO INJURE MY LEFT LEG.
-roll eyes-

anyway,
angie wrote my a postcard this morning or sth?
thanks for the encouraging words,
i'll try to work hard :)

bleah,
so tired.
tml's gonna be a short day.
(:

//runs

Tuesday, July 05, 2005 9:02 PM

IRRITATED.

why does my dad always has to pick on mi whenever he quarrels wif my mum?
TSK.
SUPER DU LAN.

7:36 PM

Oh Ya,

forgot to mention.
our sch TAF programme is getting tougher.
its now frm monday to friday,
we cant join p.e, we have to do physcical activities..
WTF CAN!
hais,
F*** IT LAR.
i where got so many p.e t-shirt for it lor.
waste money.
i;ve got nth to say.
its just shitty.

//runs

5:51 PM

hais,

got baq my GP paper alr,
failed lar,
35.5/100, an E8.
still haben get baq other papers.
anyway oso no hope de lar.
:(

hahas.
anyway,
today do target setting.
so stupid lar,
i aimed for just pass for promo which is like this:
GP - C6
chineseAO - B3/B4
maths - C
physics - E
econs - E

and my aimed for A lvl:
GP - C6/C5
chineseAO - A2/B3
maths - A
physics - B
econs - C

wahahaha,
dunno archivable not.

hmmm,
guangyang oso veri funni,
after civis he approach mi and say:
eh i tink we both shld reali reconsider whether to stay in JC not hor.
hahhas
yea,
we reali shld reconsider,
its okie to waste one year,
but not TWO.
so i told him,
after promo we decide lor, cos we still got project work..

Monday, July 04, 2005 9:30 PM

sian-ed

new term starts tml.
-yawns-
dun feel like going baq,
but looking forward for P.E lesson!
:)

went wheellock bk for pw..
hahas,
i'm like so lost and LATE lor,
i dunno how to get there,
so like go round n round orchard.
i did nth much can,
so useless lar..
hahas.
and yar,
we always end up slacking..
wahahas.

mit joyce at yishun bk after the pw meeting,
asked gary along but he was at safra,
he came like after more den 3 hrs can.
tsk.
den i;m like trying to do my phy tutorial in the mean tyme..
den joyce's fren join at ard 7 plus,
i leave for my grandma's hse at ard 8,
drag gary along,
he is just such a great guy lar,
acc mi all the way to 700++ there..
hahas.
den he walk all the way baq to funland...

had my dinner at grandma hse and went home.
here i m.
gonna pack my room, my bag, english file later on.

//runs

Sunday, July 03, 2005 5:17 PM

new skin

created tis new skin,
more refreshing i guess?
better than the black one.
okie,
i realise we got quite a no. of hw?
i mean some hw?
i haben read the phy text..
asked mervyn how to study for physics,
haha.
it sounds dumb,
but seriously i reali understand nuts abt physics lar.
okokie,
i better go..
//runs

12:57 PM

bleah!
just woke up n had my lunch alr..
hmmm,
gonna start reading up pure physics text,
trying to understand the basic den the more difficult thing.
i dunno if i shld try to hang on in jc,
its like,
i just feel plain stupid as compared to those brainy ones.
okie,
anyway,
i dun wanna start on this again...

oh ya,
ytd went to mit my dearest JOYCEEEEE!!
hehs.
she went to changi airport to study n feel bored n decided to mit mi..
den she called ah pang [ quan yiiii],
he said he at OCC,
so mi n joyce met at yishun mrt, n headed down to OCC.
den when we were on the shuttle bus,
he said they were leaving,
and we leave together lor,
we went baq to Yishun mrt again,
[there's quanyi, terence, siong, damien, quan zhi, ah fan?]
and nobody hiu us lar..
so me n joyce went 900 plus to eat,
den saw them again..
they were at huilin's mum's stall there while we at the laksa there,
mi n joyce share the laksa n ice kachiang lor.
hahas,
den we just walk ard in northpoint, feeling ultra bored.
den she toks abt her sch n stuff..
hehs.
went hm.
grab rachel's stuff n went to her hm,
got baq some of my stuff,
went home,
rot till 2am den fall aslp..

//runs

dream, dream n DREAM ON.